SOLITUDE: Why We Need it and Why It's So Hard To Practice

SOLITUDE: (n) The state or situation of being alone.

Ok, well that sounds awful.

Who wants to be alone? Especially when our society seems to be distracting us away from even mentioning the word solitude. I mean let's be honest here. We hardly ever hear someone say, "Yeah, today during my lunch break I'm going to make time for some solitude and I can't wait!" Or when we ask how someone's day is going, we rarely get the reply, "Oh yeah it's been great! I spent most of the day completely in solitude."

In fact, the opposite is usually true. We are the busiest, most on-the-go nation in the world. We are constantly on our phones, checking our iphone watches, walking around with ear buds in our ears, checking emails, scrolling through Instagram, trying to get the best selfie, and updating our status on Facebook...and then there is TikTok... And on top of that, add in our job's demanding work schedule, the time it takes in raising a family and any other hobbies we enjoy doing (which we may or may not even have time for.

Basically, it's rough out there. It can feel extremely hard for us to find time for solitude.

So what is solitude and how do we make it happen?

Solitude is all about finding a quiet place to be alone with God whether it be in a quiet room, Eucharistic adoration (if you are Catholic), church, or a place surrounded by His beauty. When I say beauty I mean His creation. It's sitting on the roof of your building looking out towards the sky's horizon, sitting next to the running water of a creek, walking out in the dark night gazing up at the stars or sitting in a quiet park surround by trees and feeling the wind while hearing the birds sing. Ultimately, it's finding a quiet place where you won't be distracted from truly being with God.

If you do not know the importance of solitude, let me share why it is crucial-even necessary-in this life

When we are constantly on the go, we lose sight of who we are, what God wants and, where we are going. We lose the true perspective God wants us to have in life. (Instead of listening to the lies that we aren't good enough, or man enough, or only defining who we are by what we are able to DO in this life)We spend time with friends who we want to get to know more so we should do the same with God. It's a simple concept but a difficult task. But when we come to know HIM more, we are able to see who WE truly are too. I can't explain how it happens. (and everyday I am always working on it too) All I know is that when we make time with the God who loves us so deeply, He reveals truth to our hearts. He reveals hope. He steers us in the right direction if we are lost. He takes fear away and gives us courage. He calms our doubts and can bring clarity to our unanswered questions or hardships. It takes an act of faith, persistence and desire. And one day, instead of it being a task to commit too, it will be an act done solely out of love to spend time with Him.

When we don't spend time with Him, we are blocking His graces and His love. It keeps us from depending on God. So we depend solely on ourselves, but only to find our bodies and hearts burned out, drained and stressed to the brim. I think we can all admit that we've seen those people who hold their head a little higher, smile a little brighter, and seem to go about life with more peace. They appear to be more composed. They seem to be focused outward on others rather than always focused on themselves and what they have to do next. They simply are more at peace!

It's a pretty neat place to be in my opinion. These people are a true inspiration to me. They are a witness to what it means to authentically have God in your life. It's because they know the love of God. It's because they practice solitude in their lives!

Summing it up in steps...................

MAKE TIME FIND A QUIET PLACE Find a quiet place where you will not be distracted. If you have to cut out something in your life or wake up an hour early, then DO IT. (It takes about a month to break a habit or form a good one!) As much time as we spend on our iphones, in front of television, checking emails, watching the (bad) news, scrolling through Facebook, Tik Tok, and Instagram, I'm pretty sure EVERYONE can find time out of their day to be with God. I would take 20 minutes alone in solitude and then try to work your way up to an hour or just 30 minutes. No excuses! It takes discipline to make time...and I speak to myself as well.

TALK TO GOD Talk to Him as if he was your best friend and He was sitting right in front of you. Tell Him how your day was. Tell Him your joys, your fears or your intentions. This may seem weird at first but it gets easier once you keep doing it. (Journaling is a great way to let out thoughts to God on paper as well)

LISTEN Learn to sit there and listen. Try not to think too much; just focus on God and His love. This means being receptive to what God may want to say to you. Remember, it is hard for a heart that is not used to hearing God's voice to know how to recognize it. When you come to know God more deeply, His voice will become more clear. Also, if you feel like random thoughts or distractions come to mind, make those distractions into a form of prayer. If you are worried how your business meeting is going to go the next day, how you are going to pay the next bill, family issues or about a test you don't feel prepared for, give those thoughts to God and make them a prayer. Instead of dwelling on them with anxiety, ask God to help you do well on your test or help find a way to pay those bills. After you have offered up those worries in prayer, then stop thinking about them. Trust that God knows what they are and He will take care of it. (Remember that there will always be distractions so don't sit there beating yourself up the whole time. It's what we do with those distractions that matter.) Listening takes practice. We might not even feel God's presence or even hear Him saying anything to us at all. That's ok! Don't get discouraged. It may take MULTIPLE times but try not to give up. He knows you are trying and He will bless you for it.

CONCLUSION:

Solitude is extremely important and without it we will MISS the beauty of life. We will miss the small things. We will constantly be running around like chickens with our heads cut off. We will be driven by anxiety and the mentality that DOING is the only way to get anything done. I don't know about you but life is short too be running around fueled on chaos, ignorance and anxiety. I’d rather spend the time working on having a heart of clarity, love, and peace.

Get to know our Lord more. Get to know yourself more. Don't be afraid. God is gentle and He is love. Let’s practice solitude :)

(written on October 16, 2016 / updated on June 2, 2020)